“Not my circus, not my monkeys.” This is often used as a way to describe boundaries. On the surface and in some instances, this can be very a very wise approach to many difficult circumstances in our lives. However, this is not always true nor is it a valid excuse to turn a blind eye to legitimate problems.
For the sake of this article, consider the example of someone being a bully here on Facebook. If it is on Facebook and other people can see what is being said, then it is no longer an instance of “not my circus, not my monkeys.” The bullying is public and it is only right to confront the person who is being a bully. Here’s where this excuse becomes a problem. Sometimes we will give the bully a pass because that person is someone that we “like” or “respect”. When we give them a pass, we are enabling and excusing this kind of behavior. This also means that when we do this, we are also playing the role of a bully.
We tend to give ourselves a pass on confronting and correcting poor behavior of ourselves and those who we claim within our “inner circles”. This is wrong and refusing to accept accountability for our actions is borderline narcissistic. If you don’t think that I am qualified to use the term narcissistic, then I will use a scripture that illustrates the problem more accurately. Our actions are proving that we are “lovers of ourselves” 2 Timothy 3:2.
This kind of mentality will play a role in our lives outside of social media. I do not want to focus on just out disposition here on Facebook. How we treat people – it matters. The choices that we make – they matter. We are not perfect, so there will be times where we will face scrutiny for how we treat people and the choices we make. Being unwilling to be challenged, face scrutiny, criticism, or however you want to describe it – proves that we are “lovers of ourselves”. The attitude of “mind your own business” does not prove anything. Think about when the apostle Paul wrote to the church at Corinth. Imagine what would have happened if their response to his letter was “Mind your own business Paul”. We need to be careful that we are not using this too casually over every challenge we face.
Are there some instances of scrutiny that is unwarranted? Absolutely. I am not saying that all instances of criticism, scrutiny, challenges of our faith, etc – is warranted or necessary. Sometimes we forget that our being challenged to do better is to help us, not destroy us.
by Lee Elkins